The Downside of Positive Thinking

Reading time: less than 3 minutes

Over the past decade or so, positive thinking has become for many people interested in personal development an important tool to reach a successful and happy life.  In attending classes, reading books and sitting in numerous sessions with life coaches, many have become masters of optimism and positive thinking. The art of positive thinking has led them into a life full of beautiful things and positive outcomes. Surely they must also live happy lives. For myself though the reality looks a little different, since positive thinking alone doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness. While it can be a great tool to move towards that dream life there is also a downside to positive thinking.

We might miss deeply moving conversations

In the past I often heard those around me saying that there is a hype about positive thinking. Back then I didn’t agree, neither did I. Instead I was optimistic that those people will find their own way around their thinking. Soon this became my mantra and I lost many opportunities to challenge other ways of thinking. With this I too missed out on deeply moving conversations that would have made me stronger and wiser.

We might oversee important facts 

Over time I have learnt to look at everything from a positive point of view. I used to believe that at the end everything will work out just fine (and sometimes magically by itself). With this I occasionally have overseen important facts, that suggested a less positive outcome. I missed to tackle obstacles that were clearly laid out in front of me, instead I was still waiting for that positive outcome to appear.

We might silence our inner voice

Sometimes positive thinking doesn’t allow exploration and acceptance of negative thoughts or doubts. These however are powerful messages from the inner voice that are important to observe, best without judgement. Since I started to acknowledge doubt and negative thoughts I have been able to clear them up simply by using actual facts.

While positive thinking is a powerful tool when moving towards a better outlook in life, the downside could be silencing the inner voice, overseeing important facts and missing opportunities for deeply moving conversations. By allowing yourself to discuss with others your way of thinking, considering all facts available and understanding the nature of your negative thoughts and doubts along with using the tools of positive thinking you are mentally set up to reach a successful and happy life in no time.

Please leave a comment below, share this with your network or click the like button.

Sandy Seeber, July 2015

About Sandy Seeber

Sandy Seeber left behind all that she knew, travelled around the world and found her key to happiness. She envisions a world full of happy, healthy, and wealthy people.

Core and Vision – ‘It’s all about you and your dreams’ has been the start of a mission to make the world a happier, healthier and wealthier place. But instead of supporting environmental organisations or helping people far away from us, Sandy focusses on other ways to change the world.

“If all people would be in peace with themselves, I truly believe that our world would be a happy, healthy and wealthy place.”

Core and Vision reflects the strength of the inner core that is able to manifest its vision. Just like the sun that is so strong within itself that the whole solar system benefits from its light. However, many people have lost a lot of their strength and instead of living a truly fulfilling life, they struggle through it. Some of us lose even motivation for life while others are being eaten away from heavy burdens that never allow a rest. The world outside of us is not going to change unless we are willing to look from a different angle.

Through her creative writing Sandy Seeber aims to make a difference by taking her readers onto a journey of an unforgettable experience. In summer 2013, her first novel titled ‘The perspective of things – An unusual friendship’ has been published in Germany. After great reviews, the storie has been released as an Audiobook in December 2014.

As a certified coach and trainer, Sandy currently supports people to become more effective in their working environments.

Today she is living and working in Dublin, Ireland.

For more information, please send an email to: seeber.sandy@gmail.com

Sandy Seeber, April 2015

Have you arrived yet?

“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” Lao Tzu

Photo, Sandy Seeber, 2015

Do you know that feeling that eats away slowly any confidence about your current situation? That feeling that makes you gasp for a new experience. That emptiness in your stomach that makes you want to take in more than there is available at any time. The realisation that you have everything that you ever wanted but still, that thirst for a new adventure seems never satisfied. Even worse it expands until there is no other way than that of the so much desired change. Can you relate to the explorer that never grows tired of meeting new challenges? Then you could be one of us people who may never arrive at all.

After a while, the places you find will look the same. The people you meet will start to take more of your energy. The circumstances you encounter begin to tire you. Everything will be the same and eventually you will arrive at that very same place that once full of spirit you have left to conquer the world. And again, after a while, you will nurture that hollow feeling, that once before has led you leave everything behind.

Yes, your character will improve, your thinking will become even more efficient, your interpersonal skills will grow stronger and the wealth of knowledge will be overwhelming. A lifestyle choice, as many of us would call it. But is it really a choice? Are you not longing for a loving partner you can share your deepest fears with, a place that you can feel settled in, a family of your own to pass on those incredible experiences that you have had in life so far? Are you rejecting everything that is steady in your life on purpose? So what exactly makes you initiating change so frequently?

Photo, Sandy Seeber, 2013

I myself thought of me as an explorer for a long time. Only recently an extended trip to Argentina had me realise that I am not any longer. I used to make changes before something else had a chance to hit me by surprise. This way I always considered myself flexible and very adaptable and to be fair I am to most events, just not to the ones that are closely connected to my life choices. I used to never settle in a relationship, in a professional position or even in myself long enough to arrive at this place of inner peace and trust that is so important to manifest all the things I was always dreaming of.

Now the real work begins. With the arrival at the place that I once left reality kicks in. Now it is time to take those steps necessary to make my dreams come true, finally.

As in all my posts, I am happy for you to like and share this post. I also enjoy reading your comments. For new post you can also follow this blog by email.

Sandy Seeber, January 2015

Top 5 Tips on How to Let Go

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”– Joseph Campbell

The internet is full of posts about letting go and how somebody can benefit from it. There are also a great number of books out there that cover letting go as one of the secrets to create a life in abundance. Now that is where I got stuck. Because I couldn’t grasp the how of the letting go process or maybe I wasn’t just ready to do so.

After many months, I have worked through this problem and would like to share my top 5 learnings as tips for all those of you who wonder too about the how in the concept of letting go.

These learnings are results of my experience and may or may not work for everybody. However when was looking for a simple way of letting go almost two years ago, I missed the most important point. Only now, I am becoming aware of something that is much simpler than I ever would have thought. Even though you might not agree with those tips below bear in mind neither would have I before.

1. Accept all that is and make peace with it. Whatever your life has had on offer for you, it was meant to be. Every person, every challenge, every crisis and every fortune is part of your life, no matter if you want it or not. It is important to make sure that you accept all events and especially all people in your life as they are. Acceptance is the first step to every change.

I had difficulties to accept my mom as she is. I always knew what she could do better, how her life quality could improve, and of course what she should be doing. We had tough discussions and arguments over simple things. When I have started to listen to myself when we were talking, I figured that I would respond in the same way she does. I indeed acted just like her. I accepted this fact and the way my mom carried on but stopped to engage in those arguments. I started to accept that she thinks differently about many things. Our relationship has improved a big time. I have slowly let go of my need to know what is best for her.

2. Stop listen to everybody. Except you, nobody know what is best for you. You have to take care of your needs and follow your own course in life even if that means that people around you don’t agree with you. This is a hard one and can lead to confusion in times. That’s why the next learning is as important as this one.

Often in my life I have listened to the voices around me and have given them more thought than my original ideas. Because I did change many of my ideas to fit them into the ideas of other people, I haven’t been as successful as I hoped for. I lost faith in myself and had times in which I wanted to hide from the world. When I stopped listen to other people, especially to those I haven’t asked for advice, I gained my strength back and achieved more than I thought possible. 

3. Trust yourself. You know what you can do and what you can’t do. If you need to take a break, take it. If you need to take action, do it. Whatever your body tells you is more important than what anybody else tells you. Sometimes you want to take on a challenge. As long as the ultimate outcome is something that you want to achieve by heart, go for it. Is the challenge something that you do only to please somebody or to gain attention in your peer group, be strong and say no.

When I wrote my novel, I always knew it would be a great book. It took me a while to get it edited into the form that I believed would be the final version. I was happy and encouraged to release it into the world. I wrote to about 15 agents. One of them wanted to read the whole script. One Saturday afternoon I received feedback. It was horrible, in only a few minutes my mood has changed. I felt dizzy after one single person told me, that my novel wasn’t good at all. There were some clues of what I should be working on. I trusted myself though and didn’t change anything. I knew this book isn’t like any other and isn’t a book that suits all readers either. Just a year later my book got published – unchanged. It has received many 5 star reviews and great feedback from all sides.

4. Take enough breaks. Life is not a competition even though it seems like one. Everybody has their own time to do all those things they are meant to do. Take time to eat and sleep properly. Schedule time for yourself. The only asset you really can count on is your body and mind. Make sure you keep your personal assets healthy and energised.

I have been always on the go. One goal after another that screamed to be added to my success list. I considered sleeping too long a waste of time. I wanted to make the most out of my life. Even though I crashed without energy in almost depressive moods now and then, I felt awful for not doing something useful. Eventually I changed my perspective and started to listen to my body. I eat when I am hungry, I try to ensure 8 hours sleep at night, and enjoy doing absolutely nothing. I have learnt to be in harmony with myself and to enjoy my own company. I am much more relaxed and if something really needs to be done, it won’t go away. 

5. Live your life. Once you have stopped trying to improve the life of others and have started to take care of your own life, you will have so much more time to live your life. Now there is no pressure of other people to do something that you don’t want to do. There is only choice. With choice you own your time, your view, and your life. There is no feeling bad about anything, because you can stand in front of the mirror and say I am having a great time.

When I was busy with taking responsibility for all those people around me and thought I had to do so many things to create a wonderful life, I never really enjoyed myself. I always was busy doing something for a better time in future. Although I realised that is was my choice to make my future brighter I forgot to enjoy the time.  Since I started to take myself less seriously and stopped to think too much about the future, I realised I am already living the life that I always wanted and just at the right moment I was ready to save it for my future.

Of course nothing has changed over night. It took me about 10 years to turn my life over. It started with one question that helped me open my eyes: “Why do I get angry about things I have no control over”? It continued with a great journey around the world and an even longer journey deep into my inner world. Even though it took that long to understand the term of letting go, I would not miss one single second within the last decade. It’s been amazing and the only question I am asking today is: “How much better life can really get?”

by Sandy Seeber – Januar, 2014 More articles by Sandy Seeber

How to Create Harmony in your Relationship

“Happiness is when … What you think , What you say and What you do are in Harmony”   Mahatma Gandhi

Relationships are important and even more so is the one with your lifetime partner. Often the once so sparkling energy between two people grows into a story of the past and both partners find themselves in a rather comfort arrangement than a passionate relationship. While some couples have found out how to invite back the excitement of their early days, others struggle to even keep their interactions in harmony. When you feel misunderstood, not valued, or just in unease with your partner you probably start looking for outside support and you might even think about breaking up. But before you give up on your relationship have a look at my tried and proven tips on how to create harmony:

Talk and most importantly, listen to each other! When your relationship is off-balance the chances are high that there is a lack of communication. That doesn’t mean always that you don’t talk to each other, but you might not hearing what your partner is really saying. One of the reasons is that instead of discussing an idea, thought, or plan of action objectively, people often interact to get approval for it. So the purpose of the conversation is a different one and so is the outcome. In trying to understand each others point of view you certainly have a good chance to also hearing what your partners is really saying.

Recall all the qualities you do like about each other! At some point you were madly in love with each other. There was that chemistry that connected you two without any questions. Qualities, interests, and a similar taste clued you two together. What made you going out with each other? What is your common story? What were your first dates all about? As you remember the highs of your relationship you bring them straight into the present. It is your choice to keep them there.

Envision your future together and make it an ultimate goal! Have you got plans for your future? Visions always wrote history before it even happened. Without visions we would probably still live in caves. Create a vision for the two of you and keep engaging with it. Where and how would you love to live once you are eight five? How about envision your kids (in case you haven’t got ones) and sometimes even acting as they would be already in your life? To have a vision adds fun to your relationship and most importantly strengthens a common purpose.

Take initiatives! Life is too short to wait for others to get going. If you want something in your relationship, be the one to introduce it. If you want to spend more quality time together, organise something you both enjoy. If you want more surprises, surprise your partner. If you want to be better understood, try to understand your partner better.  If you feel unhappy, talk to your partner before you consult your friends. Every step you do proactively is a step closer to your common vision.

Include each other before making big decisions! Big decisions can be everything from starting a family, going back to university, or changing careers as they will have an impact on your relationship. Making such a decision on your own wouldn’t be fair on your partner. Have an objective discussion and agree on terms that you both can live with.

Nurture the positive attributes! Being in harmony with your partner is also an indications of being in harmony with your innermost self. Whenever you are in doubt of yourself, your partner, or your life find evidence for the opposite to be true. Recall your successes, what you love about your partner, and what you have achieved in life. There are times when life can be tough. But if nothing else you do have a choice of stirring through the storm on your own or with the support of your partner.

From my own experiences I know that a relationship is literally like a fairytale, you have the good faces and the bad ones combined in one single story. Often the dark forces get stronger and stronger and just before they are about to succeed they get defeated by the power of love. In other words as long as we buy in the issues at hand and engage with them we are on a good way to destroy our once so promising life together, but we can turn it around by trusting in our love, purpose and in each other.

by Sandy Seeber – October, 2012 More articles by Sandy Seeber

What you might have missed

I am not, who you think you are!

When I woke up this morning this sentence popped into my head and I wondered what it means. Maybe you too, wonder. Let me bring some clarity around this phrase. Of course this will be only my perspective as I am not, who you think you are.

You perceive your world according to your experiences, bringing up, your education and of course to your environment. What you know is true to you is what you hold to be true in general. This is an important part of humanity because it helps us to remain individuals. Let me put this into an example.

At the moment the news report about an ongoing financial crisis, about an uncertain economy, and many other dreadful outlooks for the very near future. That can be scary information especially if you have had bad experiences already. You might fear for your job, your income, or your savings. On the other hand you might find many opportunities to be innovative or to use that time of impermanence as you had great experiences with looking out for chances while something stopped working the way it always did. That way you get exactly the job you were looking for or a simple idea of yours becomes the most thought after solution. And there are many more perspectives you can find around the same topic.

Now back to the phrase above. As long as you accept that people have different perceptions and opinions you won’t need to think too much about it. But in case you think  that your common sense applies to the rest of the world than you might take it a bit too far. Why is that?

Everybody has a different perception, a different life with different experiences, and certainly different opinions. Certain ideas match with ideas from other people and other opinions of yours may cause conflicts while communicating them to your circles. You might think why can’t they understand that I am right here. You might try to convince them with evidence based on your experiences and still people seem not to agree. But it is not about you being wrong. The truth is that they just have had different experiences that have provided them with different insights. So it is understandable that they feel reluctant to agree to your opinion.

I am not, who you think you are; is a reminder that you are a unique individual on your own path through life. You might resist that path in times, you might not always accept what happens to you, but you still are who you are and no matter how much you try to change who you are, you certainly won’t be able to change me.

by Sandy Seeber – July, 2012 More articles by Sandy Seeber

Related articles

• Perception is like …….. (mindmindful.wordpress.com)
• Perception Is Reality… (wamyentrepreneur.wordpress.com)
• “Keep an open mind, without losing your opinions.” (dailyteacher.wordpress.com)
• Perception: Can Mind Which Is Eternally Babbling Perceive Whatever Thing!? (dranilj1.wordpress.com)
• Transforming Your Reality (omtimes.com)
• B2B Demand Generation Using Reverse Engineering Marketing – How to Manage Perceptions and Communicate Value (customerthink.com)

GREY

The grey has been strong these days 

a huge mix of everything

normality – nothing to be noticed

 

Somewhere within

the wheels are spinning though

blending everything together

 

Black and white are fighting

their sides change fast

 

Shadows and lights are merging

into balance at last.

 

by Sandy Seeber – 2012  – More by Sandy Seeber

Why your life will never be different

It’s a bold statement and yes you might argue that your life will be different or maybe you argue that it has changed already. But with being absolutely honest to yourself, is that true?

I am an expert in changing life. As soon as I had managed something without being challenged anymore I looked for a change. A long time I thought I am an explorer, but then I also longed for peace and just a ‘normal’ life. I dreamed of arriving at some point where I can just be. The more I dreamt of it the less I reached that point. My hunger for change became either unbearable or I fell into a laziness of a safe comfort I was afraid to leave again. Although I have changed many settings around myself, have had a straight career, travelled the world, and fulfilled most of my childhood dreams, I found myself still in the same battle. I was devastated.

My life hadn’t changed in its core. I hadn’t changed.

It’s easy to build a life around ourselves that we believe suits us much better. It’s easy to take opportunities and pursue some of our dreams. All that it takes is self-discipline, some courage, and determination. But you still are who you are and your inner battles won’t change unless you deal with them. And only then you will be able to pursue a  dream that is true to you.

Yes you can achieve wealth with the Law of Attraction and yes you can create your dream life, and yes you can heal yourself. And yes, you can be all that you want to be. But this is not your true destination. It’s a choice of a life style. Maybe you were in a 9-5 job and now you are self-employed. Maybe you were single and now you are in a relationship. Maybe you lived in a small village and now you live in a city. Maybe you were poor and now you are rich. Your life just changed colours. It’s coated with a new surrounding.

But your life is still what it used to be with YOU at its core.

You are who you are and only with a deep acceptance of all that you are, all your experiences, talents, origin, family, and characteristics you will be able to make a difference to the life you are living.

Maybe it’s time to realise that we are already whole and all that we truly need to do is to accept what is. So we can live a happy, healthy, and wealthy life.

Related articles

• How to Remove Stress from Your Life (sandyseeber.wordpress.com)
• finding your inner power 99 (oleole.com)
• If You Want to Be aStar, It’s Best Not to Bother with Other Things (smalltowngenius.wordpress.com)
• Is it up to me? (awakenyou.org)
• I had a dream… The Law of attraction in my life (dreamjobdiva.wordpress.com)
• The Happiest People (workthedream.wordpress.com)
• The Roaring Twenties (beinlightened.wordpress.com)
• If Your Dream Gets Stuck Before It’s Started… (bestknickersalways.com)
• On the Law of Attraction and Being Open (marvcabrera.com)

Why fighting reality won’t make it better

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Albert Einstein

Not many can fully understand why reality is only an illusion according to Einstein. For most of us it feels, looks, smells, and sounds quiet real. Yet each of us experience reality differently and often we find ourselves within a setting that we rather fight than accepting it as being real.

What is reality? When we look up the definition of the word reality, we will find out that it refers to the world or state of things as they actually exist. So I understand all that we experience outside of ourselves must be reality. There is definitely a common reality that almost all of us are able to experience as for example the moon and stars, the sun, the cycle of night and day and others. Then there are common realities for different continents, different countries, different Cities, different communities, different groups, different families and there is a unique reality for each of us. This unique reality is based on our individual experiences of for instance society, family, friends, economy, countries, world, weather, as well as based on our value and belief system. The more beings experience a certain common reality the more likely it remains a concrete reality. We as individuals though have a wonderful chance to move towards realities that serve us better than the ones we are experiencing right now. But how can we do that?

As just described our own reality is based on our unique experiences. So whatever we experience we do so because it is part of what we believe is real. Here is an example: When I came back to Europe in the middle of  the recession in the end of 2010, I believed that I would find a job in no time despite the economic crisis. It took me 3 weeks including Christmas Holidays to sign the contract. But the same can work the other way around. When I was a teenager my reality was that guys aren’t faithful and so I used to attract exactly this type of guys into my life. This used to be my reality that has changed. How?

Acceptance is the key! The first step of moving out of a reality we don’t like is to embrace it. We embrace all the colours, shapes, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings. We accept all that is just the way it is in the moment we experience it. We accept that it is cold out there, we accept that we have a mountain of laundry to wash, we accept that we are in trouble, we accept that we are tired, etc.

Once we have accepted what we are experiencing right now, we are able to decide what to do with it. We are able to look at a state we would like to be in. For example I am cold and I would like to feel warm again. I accept the fact I am cold. So now I am free to see what option I do have to get myself warm again, for example I get a sweater, cuddle with my partner, turn the heating on, or drink a hot tea. I decide to get myself a sweater and my reality quickly looks different. What works with the small things works with the bigger ones as well, it just takes longer.

What happens when we fight reality? When we fight reality it won’t change as we give it a reason to persist. Let’s get back to being cold. If I don’t accept that I am cold, I am not free to look for options to get myself warm again. I try to fight the feeling of being cold. But no matter how much I fight with it, it won’t change the fact that I am cold. Let’s look for a different example. I am flat broke, but I am fighting this fact. I just don’t want it to be true. What I am actually doing is creating an even bigger hole in my wallet. Unless I accept my unfortunate situation, I am unlikely to find options to change this reality, that I claim doesn’t exist in the first place.

Many of us have things in our lives that we claim do not exist, that we choose not to deal with, that we don’t like to accept as they are and still remain a part of our individual reality unless we start accepting it, which then gives us a free choice of moving into a reality that might serve us much better.

So I choose to accept reality instead of fighting it! What are you doing?

by Sandy Seeber – May, 2012 More articles by Sandy Seeber

Related articles

• Perception Vs. Reality (nolanstandup.com)
• Thoughts From The Earth (simonhlilly.com)
• Reality: Beyond Perception & Perspective (mikebow.wordpress.com)
• This is not the bigger reality (ilifejourney.wordpress.com)

Reconnective Healing

An Experience Report

Although I do know a lot about energy healing, its possibilities, and its extraordinary results, I have no definite idea what Reconnective Healing is and how it works. But I have had wonderful experiences in the sessions with Pauline Jones, a Reconnective Healer in Dublin, Ireland. And I would love to share these experiences with you.

I had two sessions with Pauline and in both sessions I felt I was floating on an ocean. There were gentle waves, a big yellow sun and blue skies. I felt calm and full in peace. In my first session I sailed towards the sun and I came closer and closer, when I felt a breeze from the left side and I felt a slight change in direction towards the right of the sun. I seemed not to agree at first, but surrendered the peaceful flow of everything that seem to be much stronger than my mind and its interests. When I came out of the session, I had a clear sense of directions.

In the second session I sank to the ground. I have seen the water above me. Some sun rays followed me down and the water played with the breaking light. When I was on the ground I looked around, there was an old wreck onto the left and a huge shell on my right. That is where I went in. There was so much light within, very bright. In the middle of the shell was a beautiful pearl. I went closer and became one with it. The pearl started to ascend until I have been in the centre of the universe far away. Between all these stars I flew around following a huge infinity symbol. I felt excited and surrendered the feeling of being carried until I found myself in an even deeper sense of peace and freedom within myself. I felt floating on the water again for the rest of the session in a wonderful state of just being.

After both session with Pauline I felt connected with my deepest essence, my truth. Since then new opportunities arose, I have been much calmer, more confident, and definitely more assertive to protect this wonderful essence within. Maybe Reconnective Healing has also done some healing on the physical plane I am not aware of. But it certainly has reconnected me with my inner self and I believe this is one of the most precious connection that someone can have.

by Sandy Seeber – May, 2012 More articles by Sandy Seeber

Related articles

• The Reconnection… (bellesmots2000.com)
• Reconnect With Yourself Through Old Friends (juliehansenintuitive.com)
• Unity in Healing (unityinhealing.wordpress.com)