Not many can fully understand why reality is only an illusion according to Einstein. For most of us it feels, looks, smells, and sounds quiet real. Yet each of us experience reality differently and often we find ourselves within a setting that we rather fight than accepting it as being real.
What is reality? When we look up the definition of the word reality, we will find out that it refers to the world or state of things as they actually exist. So I understand all that we experience outside of ourselves must be reality. There is definitely a common reality that almost all of us are able to experience as for example the moon and stars, the sun, the cycle of night and day and others. Then there are common realities for different continents, different countries, different Cities, different communities, different groups, different families and there is a unique reality for each of us. This unique reality is based on our individual experiences of for instance society, family, friends, economy, countries, world, weather, as well as based on our value and belief system. The more beings experience a certain common reality the more likely it remains a concrete reality. We as individuals though have a wonderful chance to move towards realities that serve us better than the ones we are experiencing right now. But how can we do that?
As just described our own reality is based on our unique experiences. So whatever we experience we do so because it is part of what we believe is real. Here is an example: When I came back to Europe in the middle of the recession in the end of 2010, I believed that I would find a job in no time despite the economic crisis. It took me 3 weeks including Christmas Holidays to sign the contract. But the same can work the other way around. When I was a teenager my reality was that guys aren’t faithful and so I used to attract exactly this type of guys into my life. This used to be my reality that has changed. How?
Acceptance is the key! The first step of moving out of a reality we don’t like is to embrace it. We embrace all the colours, shapes, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings. We accept all that is just the way it is in the moment we experience it. We accept that it is cold out there, we accept that we have a mountain of laundry to wash, we accept that we are in trouble, we accept that we are tired, etc.
Once we have accepted what we are experiencing right now, we are able to decide what to do with it. We are able to look at a state we would like to be in. For example I am cold and I would like to feel warm again. I accept the fact I am cold. So now I am free to see what option I do have to get myself warm again, for example I get a sweater, cuddle with my partner, turn the heating on, or drink a hot tea. I decide to get myself a sweater and my reality quickly looks different. What works with the small things works with the bigger ones as well, it just takes longer.
What happens when we fight reality? When we fight reality it won’t change as we give it a reason to persist. Let’s get back to being cold. If I don’t accept that I am cold, I am not free to look for options to get myself warm again. I try to fight the feeling of being cold. But no matter how much I fight with it, it won’t change the fact that I am cold. Let’s look for a different example. I am flat broke, but I am fighting this fact. I just don’t want it to be true. What I am actually doing is creating an even bigger hole in my wallet. Unless I accept my unfortunate situation, I am unlikely to find options to change this reality, that I claim doesn’t exist in the first place.
Many of us have things in our lives that we claim do not exist, that we choose not to deal with, that we don’t like to accept as they are and still remain a part of our individual reality unless we start accepting it, which then gives us a free choice of moving into a reality that might serve us much better.
So I choose to accept reality instead of fighting it! What are you doing?
by Sandy Seeber – May, 2012 More articles by Sandy Seeber