“I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.” - Marilyn Monroe
How are we doing with our own feelings? Do we know what they mean or where they come from? What is it that we really want? Are we aware of it?
These and others are the questions that come to mind when reading this quote from Marilyn Monroe. While we might think the poor woman has never been truly understood, we might in a way also feel sorry for ourselves. How come?
Our feelings are mostly generated by stimuli from the outside world. There are people, words, actions, news, events, and situations that seemingly cause a reaction within us in form of feelings. Think about it?
The last time you were very happy, what was the reason for your happiness? The last time you were very sad, what was the reason for your sadness? The last time you were angry, what was the reason for your anger?
Was it an internal feeling that just appeared out of the nothingness or was it rather a situation, an event, or a person that triggered the way you felt?
Often we blame others to make us feeling annoyed, or angry. We often too believe, we need other people to make us happy. But the truth is that only we ourselves are responsible for our feelings. They are messengers of our inner self and whenever they are triggered, usually by an event, we have an incredible opportunity to learn about our own truth. What is it what we truly looking for? What is our inner self missing the most? What is it that we don’t like to recognise in ourselves?
You can ask yourself these questions or you can follow the ideas below:
1. Core Values! What is important to you? Make a list of everything you value and choose your top five to figure out what your core values are! Check whether your life is in alignment with these values or not. Often negative feelings are caused by living a life against core values. Once you realise that you are not honouring what is important to you, you have a choice to change either your life or your perspective!
2. Feeling Assessment! Use a word processing application or a piece of paper and answer following questions. Please take at least 5 minutes, better 10 minutes for each feeling! The answers can be words, phrases, whole sentences, people, things, feelings, or beliefs. Let it flow, don’t think about it while writing! How does JOY feel to you? What do you connect with JOY? Now exchange the word JOY with SADNESS, ANGER, FEAR, and LOVE! What do you realise when reading your answers? What is a common connection? What do you learn about yourself?
3. Don’t likes! Make a list of everything, and everyone you don’t like in your life! Then look at each point and note what you don’t like about it? Now what does it tell you about yourself? What aspects of your personality are reflected in your list that you don’t like about yourself? What self-limiting beliefs you discover while studying your answers?
Change starts with acknowledging what is. Once you have discovered the cause of your feelings you are able to start moving towards a life that is true to who you are!